INTRODUCTION OF HOW TO KILL YOURSELF BY LIVING
Love is all that is real. The rest is a series of inputs from your senses being interpreted by a nasty little gnome in your head named your Ego. If you want to really kill yourself by living, you will need to understand that EVERYTHING in your life is only being borrowed, that EVERYTHING can be taken away, and that said EVERYTHING means NOTHING.
I am not a Guru, I am not a genius (in fact I just had to spell check “genius”), but I am special and unique. I have never met anyone who was not special… even those I didn’t particularly like. If you want some real insight into love, being, and consciousnesses (had to spell check that too) , check out Eckhart Tolle, that dude will blow your mind. All you’ll find here are some good ways to kill yourself by living.
The Ego (again, see Tolle) is the voice in your head. Go, ahead and tell yourself you don’t hear voices in your head… see??? Voice. The Ego is a very talented gnome. He/She (from now on I will speak of the Ego in the masculine) is the best liar you will ever meet. No one can lie to you better that yourself. He is a part of you, but he is NOT you. You are not the voice. You are not your inner monologue. You are beautiful, you are present, you are love.
He is constantly creating problems, problems that don’t exist, and don’t really mean anything. Problems like “she did *** and I’m angry” or “he made me feel ***” or “I will fail at ***”. He is the reason for all your stress, for every fight with your spouse… he is the reason for all wars. He is the voice that just wont shut the fuck up for a minute. He comes with a mute button, but he hid the remote.
The Ego is really the beginning and the end of your problems, and by silencing him, you have solved every problem you have ever had, or will have in the future. Sure, there will still be moments of danger, but they in themselves are not problems. If you have ever been in a life or death situation, you probably remember it with clarity. There were no problems to be solved or obsessed upon, there was either an action, or there wasn’t. You either did something or you didn’t. But either way, you were there. You were completely present in the moment, and only that moment existed. You may have also had a similar moment of clarity during a very peaceful or joyous event. You weren’t thinking about anything, you were the perfect witness. You were present. Again, for more on this topic, Tolle. Especially his book, “The Power of Now”.
Love is all that is real
Anger, hate, fear, these things seem to be connected more to your thinking than to actual states in your consciousness. They are usually directed at something, and grow with the amount of focus you give to the offending object or person. Love seems to stem from another place. When you feel it there is a connection, instead of a separation. Love comes in many forms, but it always manifests as a state of peace and presence. It is real. It is present. It doesn’t come from thought, although it can be triggered by it.
Love doesn’t necessarily just mean the connection between a man and woman, parent and child. It is just as evident while walking on a warm day under trees, breathing the fresh air. It is evident anywhere you are comfortable enough to be at peace, and present enough to find the mute button on the ego. A child has a much easier time being present, and seems as such more happy than adults. The ego is there, and manifests itself more quickly (like a temper tantrum) but also fades just as quickly, as the child returns to the present. A child is happier because they are engrossed in what they are doing, they are experiencing each moment. I watch my daughter at eleven months and this confirms it for me!
Our minds take more control of our experiences as we get older, we stop actually experiencing things and begin thinking about what we are experiencing instead. It’s madness! We almost have to force ourselves to enjoy something, to experience it without thinking about other things or problems we imagine we have. If you find yourself at the grand canyon, the Great Wall of China, or even a beautiful beach, after the first influx of visual stimuli, you soon start to think about emails you need to send, bills you have to pay, and so on. Let go, and start really enjoying yourself. Find yourself in the present moment, and you will find love everywhere you go.
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